Complicated

I was working last Saturday and Sunday. Actually I won't feel scared for being the first day to work anymore. Maybe I was already used to it. Since after SPM until now, I think I experienced a lot of part time jobs. I didn't feel any kind of nervous anymore. In fact, no matter what situation I have faced in my job, I think I can still handle them. Maybe my friend was right, any situation that I have met while I was working will be a great experience for myself. Maybe next time I will know how to handle those problems in a better way. Human always learns from mistakes. right?

Something has ruined me up these few days. Feel like wanna shout as loud as I can. Feel like wanna cry as hard as I can. Sometimes I hate myself for messing up all the things around me. I hate things turned out to be complicated. I hate myself for being out of control.I can't make my decision! I ruined other's life! I don't want that to be happened! But I don't know what should I do..I just don't want to mess up someone's life. The only word that I had it in my mind is GUILTY!!!!

Today, I think I has made up my mind about some other things. I knew what's the problems between us but I find no way to solve them. I don't want myself to regret again! I don't want to think of all those problems again. From today onwards, you will still be one of the best friend of mine that I don't wanna loss. That's all! I hope myself can stand on my own view and won't be influenced by others until the end.

p/s:
Actually I had a great day with Yee Theng and Jerome today. We watched "When In Rome" at Gurney. I really love this kind of movies. I will feel happy and relax when I watch this kind of movies. We ate Sushi King after movie. Although just a short period of outing but thanks to you guys. I have had a great day =)