Complicated

I was working last Saturday and Sunday. Actually I won't feel scared for being the first day to work anymore. Maybe I was already used to it. Since after SPM until now, I think I experienced a lot of part time jobs. I didn't feel any kind of nervous anymore. In fact, no matter what situation I have faced in my job, I think I can still handle them. Maybe my friend was right, any situation that I have met while I was working will be a great experience for myself. Maybe next time I will know how to handle those problems in a better way. Human always learns from mistakes. right?

Something has ruined me up these few days. Feel like wanna shout as loud as I can. Feel like wanna cry as hard as I can. Sometimes I hate myself for messing up all the things around me. I hate things turned out to be complicated. I hate myself for being out of control.I can't make my decision! I ruined other's life! I don't want that to be happened! But I don't know what should I do..I just don't want to mess up someone's life. The only word that I had it in my mind is GUILTY!!!!

Today, I think I has made up my mind about some other things. I knew what's the problems between us but I find no way to solve them. I don't want myself to regret again! I don't want to think of all those problems again. From today onwards, you will still be one of the best friend of mine that I don't wanna loss. That's all! I hope myself can stand on my own view and won't be influenced by others until the end.

p/s:
Actually I had a great day with Yee Theng and Jerome today. We watched "When In Rome" at Gurney. I really love this kind of movies. I will feel happy and relax when I watch this kind of movies. We ate Sushi King after movie. Although just a short period of outing but thanks to you guys. I have had a great day =)

3rd Sem Break Started!

Today was my last day of having exam. Actually I just got two papers on this 3rd semester -- Webpage Design and English For Science. But I knew myself didn't did well in this semester.What's the reason? You are right! My laziness leads me to the bad results. =/

I'm guilty. Especially after yesterday when I have had dinner with my family then I told my dad and mom that maybe my results on this semester will be worse than last semester. They didn't scold me and didn't say bad things to me. Just ask me don't force myself too much. Can pass is good enough. At that moment, I was totally speechless and feel like OH MY GOSH! Feel like going to kill myself!!!

Sigh...I don't know how to describe my feelings at that moment. I just don't wanna disappointed my family. I don't want the result that only can make me pass. I need result which can help me to get scholarship! Nothing other than that!

Okay fine. Is no point to think so much again! I will work harder next semester.

My holidays started! But I don't feel happy at all. Gonna work for the next five weekends. Feel quite lazy. Yea..gosh! Laziness again!!! How come I born to be so lazy? =/ Arghh...Okay fine, I just don't wanna waste my sem break like this. Gonna find something to do. ==